I have spent much of my life seeking answers, solutions, and change with the belief that if I learn and work hard enough, I will finally "arrive." Yet, I’ve discovered that old patterns remained. Hard work has a place especially when we're striving for tangible things. But, what about the elusiveness of feeling present and engaged with ourselves and others and having a sense of purpose and contentment? What happens when – despite our best efforts and successes – felt experiences of unworthiness, fear, anxiety, emptiness, anger, and disconnection persist?
The past gets integrated in ways that words and knowledge can't fully capture because it was experienced and we may still feel it emotionally and physically. Sometimes, trauma shows up with a Capital "T" – a single or many episodes of discrete experiences that overwhelmed us such as an accident, serious illness, physical and/or sexual abuse, domestic and community violence, discrimination, and natural disasters.
Trauma may also show up as small "t"s – those past and often persisting beliefs and experiences of shame, unworthiness, humiliation, anger, anxiety and fear even when we intellectually know better.
Trauma has more to do with the fallout from our experiences – the ways our resiliency is compromised by the involuntary and spontaneous reactions that overtake us, from hyper-vigilance, fear, anger, anxiety, compulsions and obsessiveness to feeling numb, disconnected and depressed. Outside of our conscious awareness, our nervous system is capable of automatically deciding if we are safe or in danger. But, when our nervous system is stuck in the past, it may continue to respond to triggers even when we aren't truly being threatened. Our nervous system responds for reasons that typically aren't expressed in language. Have you or has anyone ever told you to” just get over it” as if it was that easy?
One of the reasons I am so drawn horses and integrate them in my practice is, that while they are affected by what happens around and to them, they are incredibly sensitive, present, and resilient. Animals organically and intuitively know how to release energy from events that threatened their survival and "reset" themselves once the threat is gone. Some of my horses have been abused in the past, but unlike humans, they don't create stories about who and what they are because of what happened. They don't blame themselves for not being strong enough, brave enough, or smart enough.
We humans are meaning makers and often the stories we tell about ourselves evolved from when we were children. How many children believe that they caused the bad things to happen? My parents divorced because I was a bad kid. I was bullied because I'm weak. I was hurt because I deserved it. I am unlovable. The world is a scary place and I'll never be ok. It's not safe to be me.
We can get farther and deeper when we integrate emotional and somatic (body) experiences in our therapeutic work. By heightening our awareness and increasing our ability to remain connected to present emotions and physical sensations while working on old or current stuff, we have a chance to work with and through the ways we've been stuck and expand our resiliency.
Finding the right therapist is very personal and not everyone gravitates to somatic oriented therapies. I offer free 20-minute consultations, either by phone or virtually, for the opportunity to chat, answer questions and allow you to consider if I am a fit for you.
Generally, my practice is limited to individuals 16 years of age and older. Children younger than 16 will be considered on a case-by-case basis for short-term trauma focused therapy, including anxiety that may stem from earlier experiences.
Education & Training
Education
M.S.W School of Social Work, SUNY at Buffalo, NY
B.A. Environmental Studies, Alfred University, Alfred, NY
Certifications
Certified Therapist in EMDR through EMDRIA
EquiLateral EMDR
Equine Assisted Psychotherapy
Professional Memberships:
National Association of Social Workers (NASW)
EMDR International Association (EMDRIA)
Trainings
EMDRIA approved EMDR
Natural Processing 1, Integrating Somatic Psychotherapy with EMDR